Yes. Yes. Yes.
In my line of work, people threatened me so many times, I had to learn to cope. The art of non-engagement worked for me.
When someone threatens me, I walk away and do not, ever, re-engage. As though they are invisible, I refuse to see or hear them, let alone acknowledge them. If someone else, attempts to smooth things over with that stupid forgive and forget, or they won't do it again, or give them another chance garbage, I refuse to cooperate.
Anyone who threatens me, or anyone else, will never have my attention again. However, this applies to adults, not kids.
Kids threaten adults rather often. They learn it at home and in the movies. Teachers who cope with this behaviour are at a disadvantage and the kids know it.
Like it or not, any kid who says, "wait ‘til my dad hears what you said" is threatening you. I had that happen in classrooms twice before I figured out a way to cope.
The next time it happened, I stopped teaching and instructed everyone in class, to write down everything they'd heard and seen happen in class that day. Then I went to my desk, sat down and corrected papers. A couple minutes before the bell rang, I told the kids to pass their witness statements to the front, I would be turning them into the administration and sending copies of every witness statement to every parent. The kids were shocked, so I explained that every parent had a right to know what had happened in our classroom.
Wow, talk about guiding peer pressure in the right direction, the mean kid who threatened me, ended up crying and begging for another chance, and promising he wouldn't lie again. Did anyone catch that?
The mean kid said "LIE". I swear, it had not occurred to me, that this kid had intended to LIE (about what I said to him). But he did. He finked on himself and taught me a huge lesson.
That mean kid knew how to manipulate and control his father to get what he wanted. And he was using his power over his father to try and control me too. And he planned to lie to do it. In today's lingo, I think that would be called "weaponiziing his father."
My job was to teach this kid to control himself, so he did not have to lie anymore. The kid stayed after class, and we talked this through. He had lost my trust that day and I refused to give him another chance. If he wanted my trust, he would have to earn it.
My mean kid, also a poor student, turned his homework in on time, every time, worked his tail off and earned an A in my class. But it was two years, before I told him that I trusted him. The kid was so happy, you'd have thought I'd given him a million bucks.
20+ years later, this kid still stays in contact with me. He’s not a kid anymore. He’s a grown man, with three kids of his own. We talk about parenting – a lot.
Well Silvercloud, looks like you struck a nerve in me again – eh?
