Walter, you sparked some memories of my mother.

My mother used to say, “stop shoulding on yourself”. “Remember,” she’d say, should means someone else was inside my head, telling me what me to do. “Keep your head clean” she’d say, “there’s only room in there for one.”

“Assimilation will consume you” was another one of my mother’s oft repeated remarks, warnings and admonitions (ouch). “If they jump off a cliff, are you going to jump too” she’d ask whenever she thought I was following someone else, instead of myself. “Birds of a feather flock together” she’d say whenever I offered some excuse – like everybody did it.

My mother tried to free me from all the should in the world, but the one voice she could not rid me of was hers. She’s been gone 12 years now, and I can still hear her voice inside my head. I cannot remember Mama ever, using the word “should”.