this is the damage amends must repair.

Amends also means making someone you have hurt or harmed whole again. It may be harsh, but technically, the boss stole money from his employee.

The boss made a mistake and it hurt his employee by costing her money. To make amends, the boss needs to reimburse her for everything his mistake cost her. Once, the employee is made whole again. her sense of security is restored - she knows he will try hard not to make mistakes that costs him money again and if he does, he will make her whole again.

Its like an insurance policy - when my boss makes mistakes that hurt me, he pays the price - not me.

If her boss tells her I'm sorry, I won't make that mistake again, but does NOT reimburse her, its worthless - all the risk is on her - not the boss. This is why accepting an apology, without reparations backfires. People think that you accepted it once, so you will accept it again and next thing you know, they are treating you like a doormat.

However, if you accept an apology, and insist on reparations, people are careful in the future.

Making full amends a personal habit in your life, makes you a more careful and caring person. Insisting on amends from other people, makes them more careful and caring of you.

Of course, when we are talking about personal relationships, amends is difficult to do. How do you compensate someone you have cheated on, lied to or deceived? How do you compensate someone when you discover you don't love them anymore? How do you compensate someone who gave up things they love, like a career, and can't get back now that you are leaving them? Ouch.