This essay reminded me of a film I recently watched on Netflix titled "Soft and Quiet.” What struck me the hardest was how familiar I was with the dynamic between these women. I saw this dynamic among women my mother’s age, in what she called “coffee klatches” (and avoided like the plague).

I’ve seen this dynamic repeatedly, beginning in junior high school, and if it’s not stomped out, it turns into pure poison by high school. Its the stuff of all those mean girls movies and books.

Near as I can tell, it’s some form of addiction or obsession with social power “over others” that drags women into shared behaviours they would never do alone.

As the film conveys so well, the women most susceptible to this dynamic are those who are terrified of socially powerful women, but also despise them. This shared hate spreads throughout the group, until the group leader is overthrown, and the group is free to act solely on their hate.

In the film, the young woman recently released from prison, suggests her reasons to be afraid of socially powerful women, which explains her desire to please the group leader. Later in the film, this young woman initiates behaviour that points to the reasons she hates so intensely.

I don’t think this was a horror film. I think it was a dramatization of reality. While I recommend the film, it is very hard to watch. The last 30 seconds are so shocking, it takes a few minutes to register its meaning.

If anyone else has seen the film, or watches it, I would like to hear what they think.