Once upon a time, my mother was in your shoes and sent me to my uncle's home to live. To this day, that remains the single most selfless act of love I have ever witnessed and I have measured myself as a mother, by my mother's example.

By relieving herself of of guilt and worry over me, Mama was able to focus her full attention on on my sister. Like my mother, your efforts to create a normal life for your other children is undermining your ability to provide your troubled child's need for specialized attention. If your other children are anything like me, they are protecting you by not telling you things you should know, including how frightened they truly are.

I do not want to alarm you, but at age 8, your daughter cannot be physically restrained any longer. She also has the mental tools for manipulation. It is not safe for her to be around other children without supervision. I think you know this, which is why you cannot sleep.

If possible, let your other children live with their father, or a relative for a while. perhaps a year, or two. Your eight year old needs you in a way, your other children don't.

My uncle engaged me in a mindful life and under his tutelage, I thrived. Mama never visited me or called. Instead we wrote letters to each other, almost everyday. Those letters began a conversation that lasted until the day she died.