Now that I am old, my memory is sharper than my eyes. That’s the reason, I wish you had started this piece with your conclusion (You’re under no obligation to have it all figured out”).

When I was young, I did the same thing you did here. I tried to lead people to my conclusion. However, my mother used to edit my written work and that habit drove her batty. She said, my lack of confidence was understandable, but I didn’t have to flaunt it. Over and over, she insisted we move my conclusion to the beginning, and work to support it with my research and data. Eventually, I began with my conclusion. But in the meantime, Mama’s fake it ‘til you feel it advice had served me well.

Interestingly enough, what worked in my writing also worked in my mind. Starting with my conclusion (which is usually a theory) made it easy to identify the flaws in my thinking, views, resources and research material. In hindsight, it was magic.

Given the years between you and me, we think of milestones differently. I recall thirty as the first milestone in my life.

Until age thirty, I’d measured myself and everyone else by all the things you listed in your article. That kind of measurement came to an abrupt end the day I was offered two positions. One was a job overseas and the other was a management position with a large corporation. And everyone I knew had an opinion about it. You should take the job overseas, it’s a once in a lifetime opportunity. You should take the management job, you’ll be secure for life. What will Bob say if you leave for a year? Aren’t you afraid you’ll hurt Bob’s feelings? Was sure I really wanted to marry Bob? My family insisted I take the management position, they were so proud of me, was I nuts, with that kind of money, benefits and security, what made me think this was a choice?

That day I did not compare myself, hunt down guarantees, or double think it. In a short 6 hours, I’d made a decision, picked up the phone and accepted the position I really, really wanted. Of course, I didn’t know it then, but my decision had set the course for the rest of my career. That is the reason I think of that year as a milestone. As I said, I was thirty years old.

In hindsight I see that everything before that day was preparation, training, and learning that had put me in the position to have real choices in life. After that day, I walked the path I had chosen for myself. I never looked back.

Katie Jgin, it is very clear to me that I do not have to tell you this. But I want to say it anyways. Milestones are not birthdays, accomplishments, data, or numbers. Milestones are choices. Some of us have so many milestones, they look like steppingstones. Most of us have so few milestones, they look like mountains. And those of us who have no milestones at all, stay in place and wonder what if.

Someday, you will have hindsight too, but not yet - not yet.