MXM, in your example, you are mind reading the mind reader (who is self-checking out his groceries). Usually, mind reading is an expression of fear.
When people feel fear, they tend to think someone around them caused it. More often than not, something inside of them caused that fear.
In this case, I suspect it would it be more accurate to say... When I see a black person using a self checkout kiosk at the grocery store, I'm afraid they feel that the employee watching self checkout is watching them or helping them because he/she is racist.
Of course, saying that raises a question only you can answer. Why are you afraid of what the black shopper might be thinking? What made you think that in the first place? If you were in court, could you prove it?
White people often torture themselves with reverse racism (they’re the racists, not me). It’s like trying to cure racism with a dose of snake-oil labelled reverse-racism.
Since you are reading Medium, I suspect you've become aware of the depth and breadth of racism that you never noticed before. You used to feel comfortable everywhere you went, but now you feel un-comfortable when you see a black person. You never cared before, but now you are afraid of what that black person might be thinking or feeling about you. If so, you're probably trying to make sure you don't appear, say or do anything racist. That level of self-awareness on a trip to the grocery store is upsetting. You want that feeling to go away and long for the days when you felt comfortable everywhere you went. You think it was better then, and for you it was better.
The only way to make that feeling go away, is to find the source of fear inside of you. What did you think, feel, believe, say or do in the past, that is making you uncomfortable now? Are you feeling regret, shame, unease or second guessing yourself, wondering if your past choices and decisions were not as good or right as you thought they were? If so, you might want to spend some time alone and do an inventory in private – and ask yourself, would I do that today?
MXM, you are not alone. The internet and media reach so deep inside everyone’s lives, no one can escape the realities of racism anymore. The only way out of our ugly past, is out.
