Learning your mother just lost her mother hurt. If your mom is anything like me, hearing my story might help you.

My mom passed away 10 years ago, and I still think of her every single day. You see, my mom and I were so close we talked most everyday and made time in our lives to spend together. She was fine when we gathered as a family - but whenever Mama watched my kids, I noticed they frayed her nerves something awful. Instead of expecting something of her, that she could no longer give, I made time to spend together without the kids - just her and me. When my kids were older, they built their own relationship with my mother and loved her dearly.

I wonder if your mother is experiencing something similar to my mom. You did not mention your father, so I suspect your mother has been on her own a long while. If she raised you as a single parent, she is doing what comes naturally to her - assuming responsibility for everyone in her family. It must also be said, that your grandmother may have filled the role of confidante for your mother, that a husband usually fills for a woman.

If your family is different (married couple) than your mother's family (single parent) remember that your mother has no experience in your type of family. I suggest you make time to spend with your mother - just you and her - say lunch or dinner once a month - until you get this worked out. Let her come to know you as a husband and a father in private. Maybe, just maybe you might come to knew her as well.