I've been through some really ugly periods of public disagreement. The temptation to strike back at some nasty personal attack, could feel overwhelming. But knowing people depended on me to focus on the system, kept my mouth shut. "Hand me the duct tape" was usually enough to defuse a bad situation. Besides, you can't create a good system, if you don't know what people really need and truly want. The only way to do that is to listen to people - and believe them.

More often than not, accepting someone's beliefs was the only solution. Once people accept someone else's beliefs - no matter how offensive, or bizarre they seem - people are happy and ready to start crafting a system that works for everyone.

My greatest regret is how long it took me to understand this, then develop the skills to navigate it. If I were to start working to implement form-based-codes for a general plan today, it would take a quarter of the time it took the first time around.

Activists and civic entrepreneurs learn from experience and that's the hardest way to learn (these are not college courses or degrees). It hurts to see newbies get slammed and punched for their failure to meet expectations no one has a right to. Those that stick to it grow into incredibly powerful leaders. I'm working on a couple articles about the nonprofit world, but first I have to finish my last 2 on the eugenics movement, which is where nonprofits started. :)