I'm old enough to remember when fight or flight were the ONLY socially known, thus acceptable responses to violence. If a child or a woman didn't fight or run like hell, she was guilty of wanting, asking for and enjoying abuse - even rape. It helped when psychiatry was able to bring the freeze response to public attention, but even now, old people still default to fight or flight only judgment.

Unfortunately, so little has been written by people who've actually experienced the freeze response, the public knows very little about how it feels. In essence, the freeze response physically paralyzes your body while elevating your mind and senses to super alert. As a result, you literally watch yourself being raped, or beaten, or harmed and feel the pain more intensely. Some people end up with an almost photographic memory of events.

I got past all this a long time ago. Until right now, until YOU, I had never heard of Fawning. I suspect this resonated, so deeply, because paralysis terrified me so much more than the pain, I discovered my ability to fawn. Until I'd built a good, healthy life for myself, I was the queen of fawning. It still makes me sick to remember how much of myself I sacrificed to get out. I could have done so much more with my life if society had been wiser and kinder. That self-knowledge has inspired my civic work for 50 years. When all of us are safe, then and only then will this country be ready to be a truly great nation.

I didn't think thank you was enough. I thought you deserved to know what I was thanking you for. My compliments on your writing skills as well. You reached clean to the core of me. I wish you safety and security so you may continue growing as big, and mighty and beautiful as you were meant to be.