Baby Cakes, independent people do not feel, think or behave like property; they don’t need permission or approval to act on their own and they don’t need to fight for it. If you were a child of independent people, you would be independent now. The tone of your comment is the reason, I suspect you are not an independent woman.

The patriarchy holds power over men and women, but especially children, by treating them like property. If you were a child of patriarchy, that’s when and how dependency and subservience were molded into you.

If you’ve been treated like property, someone, probably a man (father, brother, boyfriend, husband, or ex-husband) is helping you financially. If that is true, your independence begins when you cut those ties, and become financially independent (fully capable of taking care of yourself and your children). If you need a man’s financial help to maintain your lifestyle, you will never be independent – and neither will your children. If you are living above your own means right now, downsize until you can pay all your own bills, and you will know independence.

Once you are financially independent, you will be in a better position to understand my views on the dangerous, back breaking, physical labour currently done by men. Until we eliminate that kind of work from our society, we will have no choice – men will have to do it, or women and children will. I have zero interest in doing dangerous back-breaking work, so I am focused on eliminating the need for anyone to do it.

Until then, take a good hard look at your own circumstances and figure out what are you hoping to gain from feminism and what are you willing to give up to get it? If you are not able, or willing, to give up a man's financial support you are not a feminist. I know that's hard to hear, let alone accept, but its a key lesson learned from decades inside the feminist movement.