Ah yes, you are talking about lives lived without anonymity. In small towns and rural communities, you are known and you know it - all the time.

Last week my daughter and I were working on the house (we are building our own homes) and two men we'd never seen before stopped by. They'd seen the house going up and were curious about what we were doing. We shook hands and introduced ourselves by association. Since we knew some of their relatives and they knew some of ours, we invited them inside. We spent an hour swapping stories with our new neighbors, who live just about three farms away (as the crow flies, or ten farms away by road).

I assure you, we would never invite strangers inside our homes, but these men were not strangers. After 20 plus years in the Air Force, these men had retired, and returned to the place where they were known and not forgotten.

In rural America and small towns, no one welcomes strangers inside their homes, their lives, their families, their hearts or their minds.

I think "insulation" is a good choice of words. Just as insulation keeps our homes warm in winter and cool in the summer, letting ourselves be known insulates us against cold-hearted and hot-tempered people.

Unfortunately, people moving from cities and suburbs to small towns find our ways so confusing, they call us backwards. The problem is that city folks and suburbanites are so accustomed to anonymity, they don't know how to let themselves be known. As a result, they hide behind their masks of anonymity and remain outsiders and strangers - forever. No one lets strangers inside.

During the 1980s and 90s, I worked in St. Louis several times. Spatial segregation in that city was the most visibly dramatic that I'd ever seen in the United States. It was so severe, I still mention it when people get to talking about racism, segregation, etc.

One of these days, I will do some research on the origins of the city plan, but I have a feeling that segregation is the underlying premise for the entire city plan. If so, that would be reflected in the culture of small towns anywhere around your city as well.

I enjoyed your article very much. Please know, that there are hundreds, perhaps thousands of small towns and rural communities that are nothing like the ones you know around St. Louis. If you ever get to Kentucky, let me know and I will give you a tour inside a few of them. :)